Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
