it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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