is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
