I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
