All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize