Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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