so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
