love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
