Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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