R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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