Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
