Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize