at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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