Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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