dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My life is pants optional.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
