So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
