youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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