she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
