No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
