Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
