Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
A bitchslap is in order.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize