So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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