In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
