nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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