Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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