At least make sure they are 18
Why
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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