they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
