She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
