She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
