seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
