I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
