You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you win again, gameday.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Enjoy the penises
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
