LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
birth control should be required to get into college
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
