why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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