I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
