So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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