I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
