kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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