And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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