How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
