Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
