he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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