They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
