He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
