Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
