I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Let's get the cat blown out
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize