can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
