I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
