Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
