I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
there was a trapeze. enough said
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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