Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
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Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
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My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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