I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize