When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
