I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
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