Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Randomize