is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
