My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
