Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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