On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
