The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Randomize
