sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
