Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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