girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
