i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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