I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
